we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
