I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
