Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
