Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just threw up on my dentist
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
