Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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