Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
