Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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