been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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