i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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