Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
