so that wasnt chicken after all
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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