It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
