dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
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I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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