My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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