I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
