So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
