My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
