why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
They have beer where we have blood.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
