I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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