I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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