its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
