was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
