Screwed.edu
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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