so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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