I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
