Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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