just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
