Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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