Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
