Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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