Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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