he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
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Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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