You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
