she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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