I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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