yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
