pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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