Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
