We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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