Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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