Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
