help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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