seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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