mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize