Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
