Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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