I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
