Can i not drive my cunt home
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
