We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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