..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
