Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
