dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
