Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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