yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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