just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
