What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
