I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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