worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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