They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
